


Illegal Talk

by kierathefangirl



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Gen, Human AU, M/M, Multi, Police officers, Toni's dad is a cop, overprotective France, protective Spain and Prussia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 21:24:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14434374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kierathefangirl/pseuds/kierathefangirl
Summary: Francis stabbed Hayden multiple times. Gil and Toni were with him (telling Hayden he’s a dick for hurting Lovi & to leave Lovi alone) & got arrested. They didn’t do anything wrong, but Francis told them not to talk/tell the truth ‘or else’ (because he doesn’t want to go down alone). Lovi is told they (all) stabbed Hayden, and not to talk to them no matter what. Toni goes to talk to him anyway, and Lovi talks to him despite being told not to because he wants the whole story. Toni talks to him mostly because he wants his help/opinion on if he should tell the truth anyway, and ditch Francis.





	1. Breaking The Law

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings: verbal, sexual & physical abuse backstory, rape mentions, swearing (because Lovi swears a lot), cutting, depression, suicidal characters, extremism, religion, violence, characters that have anxiety/panic disorders.
> 
> First person POV; perspectives identified at beginning of chapter, as they often change between chapters.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The officer decides to punish the teens who refuse to talk.

**_~Toni~_ **

“You’re not allowed to talk to him, and he’s been notified to not talk to you. If you do talk to him, you’re breaking the law.”

“Why?” Gil asks blankly.

“Well, until you talk…” The officer shrugs. “You say it was because of him that kid’s in the hospital. So you can’t talk to him.”

He walks away. I look to Gil. He just shrugs. “What’re you lookin’ at me for?”

“You _do_ understand that means Lovi knows,” I point out quietly. “The fact that he _knows_ …reduces the chances of him being friends with us.”

Gil blinks. “Naw, man, Lovi’s smart. He wouldn’t do that.”

“Would he really? His brother’s a lawyer, Gil.”

Gil looks away. “Well…”

He sighs. “Well even if that _does_ happen, we’ll survive without him.”

“Really? With how many times he’s had our backs you just dismiss him like that?” I ask skeptically.

Gil shrugs it off. “If he doesn’t back us up that’s _his_ problem, not ours.”

“How blind can a boy be?” I roll my eyes. “Gil, I _like_ him. I don’t want him to hate _me_ because _Francis_ doesn’t want us talking.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

I look to the door of the station, then to the distracted cops. _You know what? Fuck you. I’m already in trouble for something I_ _didn’t_ _do; let’s get in trouble for something I_ _did_ _do._


	2. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toni makes it to Lovi's house.

**_~Toni~_ **

I make it safely from the police station without getting caught. My goal destination: Lovi.

Lovi’s house isn’t too far away. I make it there in record time running, and I slide up the driveway to stop in front of the door.

_ Please let Lovi be home. Please let him answer the door. If you can hear me, please let this work. _

I reach out and knock on the door. I hear footsteps, which tells me someone’s home.  _ Thank the gods. Please actually answer the door. Please answer the door. _


	3. Sucker For Tears

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lovi is a sucker for tears, and decides to get the whole story from Toni rather than an uninformed police officer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: depression & suicide mentions, abuse backgrounds discussed in decent detail.

**_~Lovi~_ **

I peek out the peephole; a nervous Toni bounces before the door. Despite the fact that they told me not to talk to him, I’m a sucker for tears…and the sweet Spaniard is crying. I’ve never seen him stop smiling before, and I don’t like it.

I sigh and open the door, and I peek outside. “You know it’s dangerous for you to be here.”

He shrugs and doesn’t answer. I grab his sleeve and pull him inside, then shut the door behind him and draw him with me into the living room. He lets me move him along and down onto the couch with little to no resistance, and I sit down next to him. “You don’t have long before we get in trouble. Start talking, sweetheart.”

He scoots upright, breathes, and turns towards me. He’s still crying. “I don’t know what they told you, but Francis stabbed the shit out of Hayden.”

“A bit excessive,” I point out.

He laughs weakly, breathlessly. “Yeah, but…he found out what Hayden was doing to you. He was being a bit overprotective. Hayden’s in the hospital, because Francis got caught.”

“Okay…”

“Gil and I just told him to leave you alone, we were about to leave. Francis pulled a hunting knife and nearly gutted the bastard.”

“I’m the one he hurt and I think that’s going overboard,” I mutter.

“I know,” Toni agrees. “It doesn’t teach him anything.”

“Exactly,” I acknowledge.

Toni breathes. “I need your help.”

“What on Earth could you possibly need  _ my _ help for?”

He shuts his eyes. “Let me give you some context: Francis literally saved my life a few years back. With that in mind he’s told us not to talk or tell the truth or whatever, or he won’t be friends with us anymore.”

“ _ What? _ ”

“The cops think we _ all _ stabbed Hayden,” he says nervously, “but we didn’t. I just—if we talk, we lose him. I’m scared. I want to tell, I want my dad, but I can’t—”

His voice breaks, and he starts full-on crying. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Tell the truth,” I recommend. “I never liked Francis much anyway—too pushy—and if you don’t tell the truth, that fucks  _ you _ over. You have trouble getting hired for jobs, everyone looks at you as an attempted murderer—because that’s the level you’re looking if you don’t talk. It’s safer to talk.”

Toni goes to protest, then presses into the corner of the couch indecisively. I take a deep breath. “We don’t usually discuss this…but when you say he literally saved your life…?”

Toni looks away and doesn’t answer. I close my eyes. “I’ll talk if you talk.”

Toni turns back to me, hesitates, turns away again. “It’s a long story.”

“Toni, please.”

He sighs exhaustedly. I scoot closer. “Tesoro, you’re crying.”

He blinks a couple times. “So?”

“I’m a sucker for tears. If you start crying, I’ll do anything to make it stop—including breaking the law. Tell anyone else that and I’ll gut you.”

He releases a couple choked laughs, coughs, and relaxes. “Oh.”

Toni glances towards the door and breathes, then reaches out a tentative hand. My hand reaches out to catch his, and he shuts his eyes. “Every two weeks, right from the start, my mom would make some comment to the effect of ‘ _ you’re a mistake, you have room to fuck up. _ ’”

“What? Seriously? What a bitch.”

He giggles weakly. “I guess.”

He tightens his grip on my hand. “I have three older brothers. Eight, ten, twelve: Jesús, Andrés, Matías. Jesús is a priest, Andrés a realtor-broker, and Matías a doctor.”

“Okay…”

“Jesús backed Mom up from the start. Andrés leaned her way after I came out when I was ten. By the time I came out, Matí was too busy to do anything or talk to me. When I came out, Mom said she always knew I was a mistake, and that I was wishy-washy.”

He breathes out slowly. “Dad backed me up, so they kicked us out of the house—hence we moved here. But Mom had already made her scar.”

_ Uh oh. I can see where this is going. _

Toni opens his eyes, but he averts them up the hall rather than looking at me. “I discovered cutting from a teenager on the street. By the time I was eleven, I’d gone to the hospital three times from slips while cutting. Every time Dad talked to Mom he apologized for me being the way I was.

“When I was eleven and a half, I found out suicide was a thing. I tried bleach, but it didn’t work. So when I was twelve, I ended up on a bridge.”

“Fucking hell,” I mutter, and I look the other way. I’ve been there, too.

“That’s when I met Francis.”

“What?” I look back.

He shuts his eyes again. “I was up on the edge, thinking seriously about it. By the time I decided to actually jump, he found me. He was in a car, and he made his cousin pull over the car. He leapt from the car, dragged me off the edge, told me all the reasons it wasn’t worth it, and brought me home with him for a few hours. We’ve been friends ever since, and I have’t tried since.”

“Have you cut since?”

“Once or twice.”

“Me, too.”

Toni goes stiff with fearful surprise. “Huh?”

“Me, too. I’ve been there.”

“What? Since when?”

“Longer than you have.”

Toni blinks. I look away. “Sebastian was the miracle in my family—hence why he’s ten years older than me. Mom called him a mistake once in front of me, and I punched her. She didn’t make the same mistake again.”

Toni’s eyes widen. I scoot over and curl up against him, and I tighten my grip on his hand. “I got in a lot of trouble, but Sebastian loved me for it.”

Toni nods, then pulls his hand free so he can wrap an arm around me. He reaches over with his other hand to grip my hand and massage the back of it. It’s strangely comforting to be held like this.

I close my eyes. “My mom’s dad and my dad’s mom hated me. They often ganged up on me, calling me names and occasionally hitting me. They instilled the same hatred in some of their children, and both my mom and my dad’s older brother liked to join in their quote-unquote ‘ _ teasing _ ’. They often got past the point I started crying before they stopped and left me alone.”

Toni tightens his grip. I open my eyes. “My mom’s dad found out on accident when I was four that I was transgender—my parents didn’t tell him I was born a girl. They let me pick, before Mom hated me and all.”

Toni makes a faint sound of protest. “How do you find out on a—”

He stops himself, and he starts to cough. “Oh. He raped you, you mean.”

I nod. “After that he used it as an excuse to fuck with me. ‘ _ Girls don’t get a say _ ’ and ‘ _ you can’t do that because you’re a girl _ ’, stupid shit like that. Both sexist  _ and  _ transphobic. He’s also a homophobe, so any time he caught me even looking at a guy I got hit.”

Toni shivers. I yawn a little and lean into Toni’s light embrace. “He didn’t ever stop.”

“When I was eight, Sebastian found out and oh dear God he was  _ furious _ . He punched him, he punched all of them. They’re Mafia people, so he couldn’t get them in legal trouble. Grandpa is leader of the Mafia, so we had to get out before he hurt both of us. So Seb won legal custody of us in court, took Feli and I and our shit, and we came here. Just before we left I came out as homosexual and transgender to the family, and all hell broke loose. There was war by the time we got out.”

Toni grimaces and rubs my arm a little reassuringly, and he slightly tightens his grip. “Literal Hell,” he mutters.

I shrug. “I guess. But it didn’t get better. I met Hayden immediately, and after Seb went up to New York City for a job—he’s a lawyer—Hayden flipped his shit on me. That’s when all that other shit started. He was just like my grandfather, only stronger and thus more dangerous.”

“Okay…”

“I discovered cutting from my cousin Tino when I was five,” I say, and I breathe, “and when he committed suicide a couple years later I drank bleach—but it didn’t work, obviously.”

Toni stiffens, and now he tightens his grip enough I can feel the difference.

“My family made it worse, so I tried again. I tried cutting to the point I bled out, but I got caught and innocent Feli thought someone else had done it and got Sebastian’s help, and I survived. When we left Italy it got even worse; I’d left behind the only home I ever knew because of who I was, because of my family, and it didn’t get better because someone else picked up the slack. So I tried again, and Sebastian caught me and made me promise not to do it again.”

“But you did,” Toni guesses.

“Many times,” I agree. “That was almost seven years ago.”

Toni closes his eyes. I swallow hard and bite the inside of my cheek. “I ended up on a couple bridges. By the time I was fourteen I’d tried over a hundred times to kill myself and I’d been cutting for nine years. And that was when I met you.”

Toni peeks at me. I shrug it off. “You never stopped smiling, even when I could tell you weren’t actually happy. You were nice to me and you didn’t want anything like Hayden did. I started to get better, I backed off on how often and how harshly I cut, and how many it was each time.”

Toni winces. “But you didn’t stop.”

“No. I literally just stopped a minute before you got here. I barely had time to clean up the blood. I never totally stopped.”

Toni’s eyes go wide, his shoulders tense towards his ears, and he gives me a worried look. I shrug. “I occasionally get calls or texts from family reminding me I’m worthless; I just got one from Mom. I already got rid of most of it, plus you always make it better.”

I roll over so I end up sitting on my knees in Toni’s lap. “Look, asshole.”

Toni flinches. I take a deep breath. “You are  _ not _ worthless. I started getting better because of you, people  _ have _ gotten better because of you, you make a fucking difference. Everything you do matters. If you’re anything, you’re a miracle. You’re all of Heaven compressed into one man, with a little sprinkle of salt and stubbornness from Hell. You’re more than she says you are, and you can’t let her define you. You can’t let anyone define you. You’re worth more than that. Her inability to see your value does  _ not  _ diminish your worth. Believe me, I’m  _ still _ depressed and I can say without a doubt that you are worth more than her, more than that. Don’t let her drag you down into her pit of Hell.”

Toni relaxes and smiles shyly, and he dries the tears on his sleeve. “I’m not—”

I take his collar in my fingers and shut him up by trapping the air with my mouth.

Toni goes stiff for a second with shock, then melts into a puddle of warm goo and wraps both his arms around me. He gladly accepts the affection, and he stops fighting me.

I only let him go once he’s completely relaxed again. He gives me a blank look which quickly melts to one of his real smiles. “Lovi…”

“Don’t start,” I stop him. “I don’t need any of your inspirational bullshit or self-demeaning crap. I’m done with that. You don’t have to be whole to fall for someone.”

Toni stops with his mouth open. His eyes are blank for awhile, then he starts to laugh. It’s not mocking laughter, it’s not amused laughter, it’s not uncomfortable laughter, it’s shocked and happy laughter…so I let it continue until he just stops and catches his breath. “Oh my god.”

“What?”

He grins. “I didn’t think you—hell, Lovi, what did I do to deserve you?”

I raise an eyebrow. “I could say the same, dickhead.”

He giggles, and his grin grows. “Fuck, Lovi, I love you too.”

He reaches one hand up to draw me back in, and for a blank eternity we do nothing but kiss. Toni gets slowly and steadily bolder with me, eventually getting to the point where he flips us over and pins me down on the couch. I squeak a little in surprise, and Toni just laughs and kisses me again. My mind and body are attached by a fraying string, and my body gladly responds to the affection of its eye-candy love. My mind anxiously insists I have to be dreaming or hallucinating or—

The string breaks, and bliss overrides anxious doubt.

Too soon, Toni pulls back. We both breathe, and he laughs a little. “Um…once all this shit with Hayden blows over…do you wanna…”

“You need some real Italian cuisine,” I interrupt him.

He blushes and grins. “What, are you gonna cook?”

I shrug, and he laughs. “Okay. So are we…dating, or…?”

“Is that even a question? Yes, of course yes. Why wouldn’t we?”

He laughs again. “Okay.”

Toni kisses me again, brief this time. “Before we both get in a lot of trouble…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Go, jackass.”

He grins. “You don’t sound happy.”

“Fuck off.”

He giggles, kisses me again, and pulls us both to our feet. “I’ll be back.”

“You do that.”

He runs off. I collapse on the couch and bury a relieved, excited scream in one of the pillows.  _ He likes me back! I’m fucking dating my crush! _


End file.
